March 2012
i ain’t sayin’ she a gold-digger, but she did move...
1 tag
Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate/Boss: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: PORN?
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?
5 tags
oh my god you giant asshole
the second i send you a message you log off
i mean i dont think you did it purposely to avoid talking to me, but COME ON.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO IM YOU ALL DAY YOU GIANT BUTT.
and then you log off.
fuck your shit bro.
and so now i just look weird sending you a creepy message, when it was supposed to be a conversation starter.
i should do my homework and not care...
2 tags
1 tag
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum steps on a Lego while barefoot.
3 tags
February 2012
1 tag
Merry Leap Day!
bear-in-a-baese-suit:
3 tags
Watch
Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.
Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM
Plato: *high fives Socrates*
1 tag
“You look ridiculous if you dance. You look ridiculous if you don’t dance. So you...”
– Gertrude Stein (via thatkindofwoman)
takeafuckingsh0wer:
NO SIR I DO NOT BITE MY THUMB AT YOU SIR BUT I BITE MY THUMB SIR
3 tags
2 tags
5 tags
WatchAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
2 tags
careers advisor: what do you want to do when you're older?
me: middle aged british actors
careers advisor: what
me: what
nanceswithwolves:
I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then you get sort of hungry so you go downstairs to get some cereal, but then after eating the cereal you become extremely aware of how dry your throat is so you drink some water, so then you go upstairs and get back in bed, only to be consumed by the idea of the sugary cereal you just ate sticking to your teeth and eventually...
adlergasm:
smaugbatch:
Guess what, guys?
4 tags
2 tags
